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I really shouldn\'t of come here,
shouldn\'t of come this far,
but just one look
and i thought you smiled my name
with just one look,
thatís why i came.

I told you, \"Tread lightly
this mind is thin ice,\"

but you say thatís okay-

-that one more shot can\'t kill me
and one more drag can\'t kill me
and one more drink can\'t kill me
and one more go can\'t kill me
and one more spin can\'t kill me
and one more pill can\'t kill me
and one more hit can\'t kill me
and one more drug can\'t kill me
just one more hour can\'t kill me-

And yes, you leave me standing,
but broken apart.
It all makes me sick,
sick and tired to my heart.

Everything sounds like rain
and everything feels like shame
when i\'m the only one to blame
for everything taken away.

It\'s dust to dust,
rust to rust,
all blown away.

And i\'m only afraid to die because i wake up everyday.
i love the cure. robert smith is a god. an art god.

the artwork was created by Yoshitaka Amano
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shadowraver Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2005   Writer
.....dear jesus...just the art work alone was worth seeing, but then i saw the real artwork...this is definately going to be on my fav. list of all time. please keep it up! i'm going to check out the rest of your stuff, and also "watch" you.

face-off Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2004
very nicely done, i like it!
sporadictendencies Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2004
God, it sounds like a Cure song, as well! ;)

:} I like! Pretty picture caught my attention, too, so kudos to arteest.

I especially like the use of rhyme:

I told you, "Tread lightly
this mind is thin ice,"

My fave lines.
peachgirl Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2004
I love this picture! It's really wicked!
moonsongs33 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2004
its been awhile since ive read this and i come back to it again with more in my head and in my heart than before. its even more incredible.
its amazing how poetry seems to grow alongside with you. even though its always the same, theres so much in it that it cant all be taken it at once.
its like listening to your favorite song a year later and hearing something youve never heard before.

where are you josh?

write some more...........
ive never felt so thirsty for your writing than i do now.
kishi Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2003
Very nice, it has a lot of feeling to it. I like the chorus, and the concept of the song overall gives me chills (The good kind) Very nice work with this, you should put it to a tune.
catella Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2003
wow, that's realy good, you are talented man, strong poem...
-hush Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2003
Very nicely done, as per usual ;).

Digin the deepness in this one, the mind can really interact with the actions taking place.

Great work.
no-king-blues Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2003
thank you for taking the time. i always appreciate your comments.
earthfaerie Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2003  Hobbyist
Wow, that was very interesting to read. It does sound more like a song though. hmmm *thinks* you know any bands? That would be really awesome.

Take care

legolas94 Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2003
cool :) (Smile)
icklefluffywolfy Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2003
Ah Robert Smith does inspire such greatness doesn't he?!? :) (Smile)
angelinmydreams Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2003   Writer
I have also written many peices from the inspirational genius of Robert Smith's lingering vocals. So I know the level of pride one feels when the peice turns out this well. Everything about this poem is edgy...the physical structure to start is great...the first line always leaving the rest hanging. I think it reflects the poem greatly because the poem itself seems to be about standing on the edge. The brink of self destruction and only at that point could one acheive the necessary level of introspection needed to save themselves. I may be way off but that is what I am getting from this. Either way man great work.
soltian Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2003  Professional General Artist
Flows like it would make an excellent song. A really excellent song.
joey-jordison666 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2003   Writer
Intersetinvg very interseting.... not enough emotion to me...just sounds like a dull sucidal note to me... sorry
moonsongs33 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2003
ok now i can say something.

this feels like so much more than words. its carried by something greater.

i seriously thought this was a cure song at first reading. i read it with roberts voice in my head and i made up a melody too. and like with many songs, i felt like it was written out of me. relate to every line. its such a beautiful thing, the poem that is. im still in awe. im definitely showing this off.
stubbyseven Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2003
Beautifully beautifully created. Emotions just flow out of this brilliantly! I always love being able to see your art. I can't say much, it holds so much meaning... It seems like you put together every line perfectly with great inspiration. I could really feel this. Wonderful poem buddy.
awesome stuff
fwwrdsmnythts Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2003
bluewriter Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2003
very well done,

he's so weak within himself that he is somehow powerful and lives on...barley.

And yes the last line,
"And i'm only afraid to die because i wake up everyday.", was kick ass but i seam to like,
"I told you, "Tread lightly
this mind is thin ice,"

It really makes the person sound like he has little self-esteem or knows that state he's in.

very well done indeed.
moonsongs33 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2003
holy shit.

falconfemme Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2003   Writer
Wonderful line that last one but I love the whole thing, awesome Job!Floating
distopia Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2003
I love the last line. "And I'm only afraid to die because i wake up everyday" is a very cool line.
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Submitted on
June 24, 2003
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